A Marching Band Is Better Than Sex Because...

 1. More than 200 people can participate comfortably.
 2. You can be as loud as you want and the neighbors won't complain.
 3. A video tape of  it  won't  be considered  pornographic.
 4. Parents like watching their kids do it.
 5. Now matter how cold it is outside you can still do it.
 6. You can do it twice during the week AND on the weekends without major fatigue.
 7. The more you practice the better it gets.
 8. Frequent starts and stops in practice only makes the performance better.